Plot summary
Leonard Hofstadter: No.
Sheldon Cooper: Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
Penny Hofstadter: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.
Leonard Hofstadter: No.
Sheldon Cooper: Are you saying that because the things are unspeakable?
Penny Hofstadter: Your parents are old. Anything unspeakable was finished by 9:30.
Howard Wolowitz: I have performance anxiety. You of all people should know that.
Wyatt (Penny’s father): He was cooking and selling crystal meth, Susan, I think we can let the cigarettes slide.
Beverly Hofstadter: I can’t wait for this day to be over.
Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, special, like that.
Mary Cooper: That’s enough!
Alfred Hofstadter: Look, I promise you, neither I, nor anyone, has ever said that.
Leonard Hofstadter: You don’t know his girlfriend very well.
Sheldon Cooper: Or what a joy it is to behold my genitals.
Wyatt (Penny’s father): Well, he probably buys his illegal drugs from a local vendor.
Sheldon Cooper: A man named Jesus convinced you to build a church in Africa. You’re kind of a sucker.
Randall (Penny’s brother): It’s called getting caught, Mother!
Sheldon Cooper: Hey, hey! She’s mine! Take a cold shower, grandpa!
Beverly and Alfred Hofstadter (at the same time): No.
Stuart: I was wondering why the front row was available.
Mary Cooper: They’re practicing for what’s coming later.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Love is patient, but it’s not gonna put up with all the side chatter, so let’s knock it off!
15.
Penny Hofstadter: Leonard, standing here with you in front of our family and friends is bringing up a lot of feelings. Like what a good idea it was to elope the first time. But also how incredibly happy you make me. Thank you for marrying me. Hopefully for the last time.
Leonard Hofstadter: Penny… as a scientist, my job is to figure out why things happen. But I don’t think I’ll ever understand how someone like me could get to be with someone like you. You know… maybe… I don’t need to understand it, I just need to be grateful. I love you, Penny.
16.
Sheldon Cooper: Excuse me, I need to say something to someone pretty special, and… I just can’t wait any longer.
Amy Farrah Fowler: It’s happening.
Sheldon Cooper: Leonard… You and I have our ups and downs. But I have always considered you my family. Even before the recent threat of our parents fornicating like wrinkly old rabbits. I don’t always show it, but you are of great importance to me. Both of you.
17.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I now pronounce you husband and wife. And weird other husband who came with the apartment.
18.
Susan (Penny’s mother): Penny, I don’t know what I was worried about. You’re friends are just lovely.
Penny Hofstadter: Oh, thanks, Mom.
Susan (Penny’s mother): Although that Sheldon is a bit peculiar.
Penny Hofstadter: Is he? I never noticed.