1.
Amy Farrah Fowler: If you’re too scared you don’t have to.
Sheldon Cooper: No, this is for science. I can be brave for science.
2.
Sheldon Cooper: But “three, two and we’re done” is incomplete. You know those things bother me. It’s like hearing “da-da-da-da-da-dah” without yelling…
Amy Farrah Fowler: Okay, fine, one.
Sheldon Cooper: Thank you. Now yell “Charge” and we can get out of here.
3.
Rajesh Koothrappali: It could be a sign of an extrasolar planet that may contain life and someday be named after me.
Issabella Maria Concepcion: Oh… well, if it has life, maybe it already has a name, huh?
Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, but it’s probably difficult to pronounce.
Issabella Maria Concepcion: What is your name?
Rajesh Koothrappali: Rajesh Ramayan Koothrappali.
Issabella Maria Concepcion: You think it would be more difficult than that?
Rajesh Koothrappali: Good point.
4.
Sheldon Cooper: I see quivering black lines. Those must be neurons. Oh, they’re so thick and beautiful.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Those are your eyelashes, move.
5.
Sheldon Cooper (to Amy): Oh! Oh! Let’s expose it to images of me and you and see who it likes better. (to the cells): She’s the mean one, I’m the fun one.
6.
Howard Wolowitz: Huh, they screwed up and gave us steamed broccoli.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Oh, no, that’s mine.
Leonard Hofstadter: Really? The last green thing I saw you eat was a Skittle.
7.
Howard Wolowitz: As long as I’ve known you, you’ve always been self-conscious about your cleavage.
Rajesh Koothrappali: It’s because you keep trying to stick pencils in it.
8.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I can’t believe you can turn ordinary skin cells into functioning brain cells.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, I turned this one (points at Sheldon) into a functioning boyfriend, so sky’s the limit.
9.
Issabella Maria Concepcion: It’s okay, you’re allowed to have a cleaning lady.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Oh, good, because she also walks my dog, buys my groceries and cuts my hair.
Issabella Maria Concepcion: I think that’s called a mommy.
10.
Rajesh Koothrappali (to Issabella): Maybe there are other things we have in common. C-Come dinnertime, do you enjoy eating food?
11.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Sh-Sheldon, I’m not ready to have a baby.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, yes, you are! I track your cycle. For the next 36 hours you’re as fertile as a manure-covered wheat field.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Wow. I-I can actually feel the egg crawling its way back up.
12.
Sheldon Cooper (to Amy): Oops, how clumsy of me. You know what? Let me get that. Hey. Where are you going? Did you even look at my bottom?
13.
Rajesh Koothrappali: I tried to cook you a meal from your homeland.
Issabella Maria Concepcion: Oh, really? You made Cuban food?
Rajesh Koothrappali: That depends– do they have Mexican food in Cuba?
14.
Leonard Hofstadter: Sheldon’s father once picked a fight with a cactus.
Penny Hofstadter: Yeah, but that’s just his Earth parents. We don’t know anything about the ones that sent him here.
Leonard Hofstadter: Well, we know they were smart enough to send him away.
15.
Rajesh Koothrappali (to Issabella): I let my dog eat food out of my mouth, not because she likes it but because I do. Also, I know they’re pretty, but I’m scared of butterflies.
16.
Sheldon Cooper: I didn’t want it to come to this. But you have left me no choice but to employ the most passionate, seductive dance known to man. The flamenco.
Amy Farrah Fowler: For God’s sake, you’re ridiculous. (runs out) That was a close one.
