1.
Leonard Hofstadter: What’s going on with that woman you’re dating?
Rajesh Koothrappali: I broke up with her.
Leonard Hofstadter: Why?
Rajesh Koothrappali: She said she didn’t want to see me anymore and I found that insulting.
2.
Leonard Hofstadter: I mean, you think they’ll consider someone who was in prison for selling drugs?
Penny Hofstadter: Well, I sell pharmaceuticals. That’s just a really hard to spell word for drugs.
Leonard Hofstadter: Well, I’m sure he’ll appreciate carrying his samples in a briefcase instead of his colon.
3.
Penny Hofstadter: Hey, would you take a look at my brother’s résumé? I’m trying to help him clean it up a little.
Leonard Hofstadter: Yeah, sure. He really worked with the Drug Enforcement Agency?
Penny Hofstadter: He didn’t know it till he was cuffed, but yeah.
4.
Sheldon Cooper: Hey, Leonard, if you’re happy and you know it, no need to clap your hands, because I have an emotion detector.
5.
Leonard Hofstadter: I’m not saying you have to ask my permission, but you could have talked to me about it before you said it was okay.
Penny Hofstadter: Like you talked to me about your gaming room?
Leonard Hofstadter: Our gaming room! I was gonna put a scented candle in it.
6.
Penny Hofstadter: You know, how is this any different from you making me live with Sheldon?
Sheldon Cooper: You… Hey! I shared my Honey Nut Cheerios with you.
Penny Hofstadter: You gave me a bill at the end of every month.
7.
Sheldon Cooper: I’ll just give them the finger. (makes a thumb down sign)
8.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I love you exactly the way you are.
Sheldon Cooper: I feel the same way about you. Now, put your glasses back on. You look weird.
9.
Emily Sweeney: Honestly, I’m surprised you two didn’t wind up together. (talking about Howard and Raj)
Howard Wolowitz: Well, like you gals, I had to suffer through him to find Bernadette.
10.
Leonard Hofstadter: So you’re gonna throw me under the bus?
Penny Hofstadter: Oh, I’m gonna throw you so hard, I might actually win a stuffed animal.
Sheldon Cooper: Uh, guys, it sounds like you’re getting angry again.
Leonard Hofstadter: That’s because we are.
Sheldon Cooper: Yes! I don’t need an emotion machine! I am one!
11.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Hey, I was being hypothetical, okay? I would never marry you.
Howard Wolowitz: Please. When you see the ring I pick out, you’re gonna melt.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Yeah, right. Wait, is it rose gold? Actually, don’t tell me. I want to be surprised.
12.
- Sheldon Cooper: Hey, uh, Bernadette, let’s test this theory. What do you think I’m feeling right now?
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Let’s see. You’re better than us, a little bit sorry for us, but mostly glad you don’t have to be us.
Sheldon Cooper (to Howard): Keep filling this one with babies. She’s good.
