1.
Leonard Hofstadter: Wow! An appearance by George Lucas… ‘s dermatologist.
2.
Amy Farrah Fowler: I’m sorry I mentioned it.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh, don’t be. You get your hopes up, I knock them down. That’s called teamwork.
3.
Sheldon Cooper: You know, like how I practiced for that Halloween haunted house by going into the bathroom at the bus station.
Amy Farrah Fowler: You never went into that haunted house.
Sheldon Cooper: You never saw what jumped out at me at the bus station.
4.
Amy Farrah Fowler: This is a fun surprise.
Sheldon Cooper: Oh. Well, the real surprise is how surprised you are that I’m great at surprises.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, that’s not a surprise at all. I mean, if I knew you were good at surprises, I would have expected the surprise, and therefore not have been surprised. But as it is, I didn’t know, and therefore my surprise should be unsurprising.
Sheldon Cooper: Don’t get me all randy. Guests are on the way.
5.
Howard Wolowitz: The guy at the dealership said they’re not just for moms anymore.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Then again, he did think you were my husband.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: They thought it at the ultrasound. Why not at the car dealership?
6.
Daniel (Penny’s fan): I love your movie.
Penny Hofstadter: Well, thanks.
Daniel (Penny’s fan): It has got to be one of the worst things I’ve ever seen in my life.
Penny Hofstadter: Your love confuses me.
7.
Leonard Hofstadter: Should’ve punched that guy.
Penny Hofstadter: Well, go ahead. He’s right over there.
Leonard Hofstadter: Why do you do that? Can’t you let me have my moment?
8.
Howard Wolowitz: Imagine this: you’ve got the baby in one hand, groceries in the other, and you’re thinking, “How am I gonna open this trunk?”
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I’m probably thinking, “Where’s my husband, and why isn’t he helping me?”
9.
Stuart: So, I’m like a lab rat before your real friends come over?
Sheldon Cooper (to Stuart): Oh. You see, your words sound reasonable, but your face looks angry. (to Amy:) Help me out here. This is not where I shine.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Stuart, you know you’re one of our favorite people.
Sheldon Cooper: Okay, now, see, you look sincere, but your words are completely false.
10.
Rajesh Koothrappali: H-Howard, Howard, look at the DVD screen. I put on Batman: The Animated Series. Your favorite!
Howard Wolowitz: I’m in too much pain to watch cartoo… Oh! This is a good one.
Rajesh Koothrappali: I’ve been babysitting him way longer than you have.
11.
Penny’s fan: Hang on. Is she just with you because you’re rich?
Leonard Hofstadter: She makes more money than I do!
Penny’s fans: What?! Who are you?!
12.
Stuart: I also love how you never use swear words.
Sheldon Cooper: You know, it turns out, you can hurt people just as well without ’em.
