The Definitive List of Every Incredible ‘Friends’ Quote

Could this show BE any more quotable?!

If you started Friends from the beginning right now, you’d not only learn exactly how Ross, Rachel, Joey, Monica, Chandler and Phoebe afford their apartments (seriously, it’s explained), you’d also have enough laughs to silence those 2020 anxieties for a few needed hours. There’s more to memorable Friends quotes than “How you doin’?” and “We were on a break,” you know, and here are some of the GOAT jokes and quips.

Proving as always that you don’t have to sound wise to be wise: “It’s like all of my life, everyone has always told me, ‘You’re a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe, you’re a shoe.’ And then today, I just stopped and I said, ‘What if I don’t want to be a shoe? What if I want to be a purse, you know? Or a hat?’” —Rachel


The moving day mantra: “Pivot! Pivot! Pivot!” —Ross

A quote so iconic, you forget the real term: “A moo point?” “You know, like a cow’s opinion. It doesn’t matter. It’s moo.” —Joey

Decisions, decisions: “Hey, what do you think is a better excuse for why I’m not drinking on this date tonight: I’m a recovering alcoholic, I’m a Mormon, or I got so hammered last night, I’m still a little drunk?” —Rachel

Summing it up: “I think I can safely say that we all have family issues, work and/or are sick.” —Chandler

Proving that sounding wise is not always wise: “Unagi is a total state of awareness. Only by achieving true unagi can you be prepared for any danger that may befall you.” —Ross

Me in 2020: “Do you have a plan?” “I don’t even have a pla—” —Phoebe

Also me in 2020: “Smelly cat, smelly cat, what are they feeding you? Smelly cat, smelly cat, it’s not your fault.” —Phoebe

Me whenever I need to cancel plans: “Oh, I wish I could, but I don’t want to.”

One very sick burn: “Oh, are you setting Ross up with someone? Does she have a wedding dress?” —Rachel

A tongue teaser: “The don’t know that we know they know we know.” —Phoebe

King of dry humor: “Oh god. Can open. Worms everywhere!” —Chandler

The perfect roommate squabble: “You’re so far past the line, you can’t even see the line. The line is a dot to you.” —Joey

FACTS: “You don’t own a TV? What’s all your furniture pointed at?” —Joey

The quote that launched a thousand dating profiles: “I’m not so good with the advice….Can I interest you in a sarcastic comment?” —Chandler

We stan one (1) type-A queen: “I need you to be careful and efficient. And remember: If I am harsh with you, it’s only because you’re doing it wrong.” —Monica

MORE FACTS: “Welcome to the real world. It sucks. You’re gonna love it.” —Monica

The best way to describe Ross’s job: “Occupation? Dinosaurs.” —Joey

Meme-worthy content if I ever saw it: “Ah, humor based on my pain. Ah, ha, ha.” —Ross

The quote that launched a thousand IG captions: “She’s your lobster. Come on, you guys. It’s a known fact that lobsters fall in love and mate for life. You can actually see old lobster couples, walking around their tank, you know, holding claws. See? He’s her lobster!” —Phoebe

That’s it. That’s the show: “Judge all you want, but married a lesbian, left a man at the altar, fell in love with a gay ice dancer, threw a girl’s wooden leg in the fire, lives in a box.” —Monica

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