Bert (to Amy): I think Sheldon’s popular because he’s dating you.
Penny Hofstadter: Now Sheldon’s popular? What is happening?
2. Rajesh Koothrappali: How can you be embarrassed around me? I’m gonna be in the room with you when you give birth.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: I don’t think you are.
Rajesh Koothrappali: You didn’t think I was gonna be in your kitchen this morning, yet here I am.
3. The Flash (Sheldon’s imagination): You know why Hulk is so strong? Steroids. You know why Batman wanders around at night getting into fights? Scotch.
4. Sheldon Cooper: The first one’s free? Flash, how do you stay in business?
The Flash (Sheldon’s imagination): You want to know my secret? I bought stock in Marvel.
5. Howard Wolowitz: Why is it taking him so long to get a drink out of a vending machine?
Leonard Hofstadter: Oh, it’s complicated. He finds pushing that little door and reaching up into the machine uncomfortably intimate.
6.
Bert (to Amy): I think Sheldon’s popular because he’s dating you.
Penny Hofstadter: Now Sheldon’s popular? What is happening?
7.
Penny Hofstadter: I had no idea Caltech is exactly like my high school.
Amy Farrah Fowler: Well, it’s not exactly like it. We’re all extremely smart.
Penny Hofstadter: Wow… you popular girls are mean.
8.
Rajesh Koothrappali: I know you have maternal instincts.
Bernadette Rostenkowski-Wolowitz: Once, I was supposed to babysit my brothers. Our neighbor found them naked in the backyard eating crickets.
Rajesh Koothrappali: Happy and well-fed. You see, that’s what I’m taking from that story.
9.
Sheldon Cooper: I can’t figure out the math. I’ve been racking my brain for days, and I’ve got nothing.
Leonard Hofstadter: Seriously?
Sheldon Cooper: I can’t do it. I’m not as smart as I think I am.
10.
Rajesh Koothrappali (to Bernadette): Whoa, I’m calling my dad, okay? He’s got experience dealing with pregnant ladies because he’s an OBGYN. And experience with crazy ladies because of my mom.
11.
V. M. Koothrappali: Are you calling to ask for money?
Rajesh Koothrappali: What? No.
V. M. Koothrappali: Are you calling to ask for things that cost money?
Rajesh Koothrappali: No.
V. M. Koothrappali: Great. What’s up?
12.
Colonel Williams: You think you’re the first government contractor who isn’t gonna deliver on time? We’re still waiting for a big space laser Reagan ordered to beat the commies.
